The secret against hyper-vigilance: How I manage to stay calm in this crazy world 💗

Hypervigilance — the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you — is often the result of a trauma. People who have been in combat, have survived abuse, or have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can exhibit hyper-vigilance.

Being emotionally hypervigilant means you are highly sensitive to physical sensations such as pain, stress, anxiety, or anger. People who experience these symptoms often avoid any socially challenging interactions or relationships which require them to be in close contact and confrontation with others. On the other hand, they often do not have trust in their ability to overcome or adapt to unexpected circumstances. As a result, they mistakenly believe that maintaining this detrimental coping mechanism would help them prepare for any future risks.

In my personal experience, in addition to these symptoms, this mental disorder had led to me being extremely anxious in my surroundings and distancing myself from loved ones. My mind was always scanning and monitoring for new “threats” everywhere I go, whether it is driving on a new route, “Is this car following me? Did I cut them off”, or meeting new colleagues at work, “Why did I say that? That was so stupid. They don’t like me at all.” My brain was fogged with excessive worrying and intrusive thoughts.

I would constantly avoid basic interactions with the general public as a desperate attempt to salvage my situation. Being “normal” and “relaxed” for me was considered a “luxury”, which was unattainable at my heightened anxiety level.

While we have what it seems to be a vicious mental cycle of self-destruction, I have learned that the key to an escape route for this condition is simple. It is a two-step technique that immediately takes me out of the hyper-vigilant mode and allows me to stay calm during the most distressing moments.

I call it, the “breath and repeat” method. Here are the two simple steps:

1. Breathe. When you begin to experience any hyper-vigilance symptoms, quickly acknowledge them, and immediately begin to count to seven.
2. Repeat. I want you to repeat to yourself this phrase “I am safe. I am not in danger. I have what I need.” You will then envision a situation where everything is exactly the way you want it to be.

For example, when you find yourself constantly worrying about another person’s behavior, become obsessive over your interactions with them, or look out for changes that could impact the dynamic between you two, I want you to first recognize these thoughts as a symptom of hyper-vigilant thinking. As soon as you acknwlege the issue, stop, take a deep breath, and count to seven. For the next step, instead of obsessing with all the possibilities that could sabotage your relationship, envision yourself in a relationship where you feel happy, fulfilled, and secured with that person.

By pausing your thoughts and counting to seven, this technique will give your brain enough time to deactivate the fight-or-flight response. You are able to avoid any automatic reactions to fear that your body carries out to combat against danger. Once you “return” to reality and feel grounded in your surroundings, you can now trust yourself to make decisions with rationality and logic.

Furthermore, repeating positive and reassuring affirmations can create a new neural pathways that slowly re-wires your brains to produce a hormonal change that raises your level of “feel-good” neurons. The most exciting news is? The more you exercise your brain in this manner, the easier it becomes to create trust and confidence within your ability to thrive and succeed in the world.

I cannot guarantee that this technique will be able help you completely heal your own mental wounds or magically erase your past traumas. Healing requires time, determination, and persistence. However, in the meantime, be strategic with your thinking. It is ultimately easier to regulate your thoughts and emotions than hopelessly gasping at any chance to control the crazy world around you.

Your thoughts are yours, and you are the only person who can control them. Your brain is elastic, and you have the power to stretch, grow, and shape it to heal from traumas. You will be able to create your desired reality, where everything is calm, peaceful, and most importantly, normal.

Remember, you deserve a life of full of happiness and positivity. Put in the work today, and you will be surprised of what you can achieve in the end. I believe in you 💕.